Thursday, September 1, 2005
hairy pet
OMG, have you guys ever had a clogged bathtub for days b/c your property management team is really just a gang of slum landlords who fire the maintenance team leader and so you're left with the one guy (JACK, with the front tooth missing) who, when you ask to please not smoke in your studio, he throws it out in your hallway and stomps on it, and who is averse to long term solutions, therefore brings over, the bottle of super-dosy acid that, according to him, you mustn't get even one splash on your skin, b/c it would burn right through the bone? Ouch. And that is what he's poured placidly down my baththub drain while simultaneously telling me about the guy he borrowed the acid from has a hole in his thumb that you can see right through because of his ill-handling of this crazy ass shit. I'm wonderinh... a) Don't you need like a license to handle chemicals like this? and b) What would happen if I actually poured an entire bucket over someone? Would they fry away into non-existence? Anyway, two days later, my tub clogs again. And so I, rather than bitch and complain, choose to look at the bright side of things, and use it as a motivation for me to work out at school and use the locker showers instead. It's been over a week now, and considering he's the ONLY maintenance guy in charge of 35 apartment buildings, Jack's E.T.A is looking pretty dismal. Therefore, I take matters into my own hands and try the plunger (last time i tried this, all I got was black corrosive sludge surging up and not going anywhere). But, I do that mental exercise that I do right before I'm about to eat a deep fried frog and now I'm prepared to take on whatever may creep up from my drainhole. And so after plunging away, I write this email partly out of disgust, partly out of relief, but mostly to settle my queeziness. I guess writing this email is kind of like that phenomena some of you might be able to relate to - you know, when your feet smell, you want the person next to you to smell it too? I guess you really had to be there to experience what I just did, b/c it reminded me of that same extraction I had to go through in thejungles of Peru when I had the worm in my breast. You see, as I was plunging, I noticed this black blob POP UP!... and as soon as I maneuvered my plunger to get a hold of it, it would immediately SINK RIGHT BACK DOWN the drainhole, like it KNEW that I was after it! With each round of plunging, the black blob's mass emerged more and more. Well, the rest is history, and I'm about to clean up that hairy mess, but not before taking a foto of it and disseminating it to you all... 
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